You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
