Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Welp...herpes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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