So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
