You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
