You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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