i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
