Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
