So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
