Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize