he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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