there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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