Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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