I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
