exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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