My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
