Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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