I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
