Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
