so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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