found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You need Xanax blowdarts
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
