Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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