First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize