if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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