That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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