So drunk its hurt
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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