Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
