I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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