I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize