dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
