Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
