we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize