i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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