I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
