dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
