I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
