Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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