I cockslap morals
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
