Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
