brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
