Don't you send me to vm
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Two words: blizzard sex
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
