im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
