All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
