I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
