Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
