girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
