I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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