absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
