problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
