Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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