google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize