I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
