You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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