did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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