dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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