two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
