How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
