She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize