Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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