trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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