i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
