he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize