Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
