This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
