everyone is single if you try hard enough
someone owes me an orgasm
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
